Dating Post Divorce in the Decade of Choosing Single

Dating Post Divorce in the Decade of Choosing Single

One of the biggest surprises of divorce is realizing just how much the whole interface of dating has changed—and how much harder it is now. First of all, the dating apps. They make every person completely and utterly disposable. Maybe even the spouses of the people trolling them.

My best friend and I have dissected and re-dissected this dating phenomenon for years. These apps created an entire infrastructure for avoiding the real work. No effort. No accountability. No actual investment required.

The people I’ve met? Let’s just say honesty isn’t trending. Old photos. Ages that magically pause. Careers that shift depending on the day. And a few… extra proclivities sprinkled in. Most people aren’t trying to build anything meaningful. And from a woman’s perspective, here’s the pattern: men always put their best foot forward until things turn intimate.

Let me tell you something—
Men need to wake the fuck up.

When intimacy enters the picture and you don’t level up your behavior, that woman is going to feel unsteady, confused, and yes, maybe “crazy” in the way men love to label it. Because for women, intimacy usually means trust. It means, I’m trying here. It means, I gave you my body—respect that.

Not that all men are bad, or all women are perfect. But a lot of people are emotionally incompetent, and that’s just the truth.

And here’s the hard reality we, as women, have to accept:

Sex does not equal emotional intimacy.
If you convince yourself it does, disappointment is basically guaranteed.

When a woman chooses intimacy, she needs to know what she’s stepping into. She needs to do it for herself, not because she thinks it’s going to magically deepen a relationship or clarify someone else’s intentions.

Yes, there are good men who understand the meaning and value of intimacy. And there are also plenty of men wired strictly by instinct—98% chimp, give or take.

So choose intimacy because you want to.
Because it feels right for you.
Because you’re clear on the cost of the investment.

At the end of the day:
Be true to YOU.