Choosing Yourself After Trauma
Choosing myself wasn’t easy.
I didn’t even know what it meant at first.
From asking how I ended up inside a relationship built on control, deception, and erosion.
Years of being told I wasn’t enough—
and somehow also too much.
That I wasn’t good at anything.
That my voice didn’t matter.
That my degrees didn’t count.
That anything I accomplished was insignificant compared to what he believed he deserved.
He cheated.
He lied.
He manipulated reality until I questioned my own.
He made a fool of me—publicly and privately—and embarrassed not just me, but our children.
And still, he worked to diminish anything that stood taller than his own insecurity.
Over time, I let it wear me down.
I let myself shrink.
I lost myself.
Until one day, I didn’t.
He didn’t go away.
He didn’t leave me alone.
I thought it was over—and then he came back.
He saw me happy.
He saw me thriving.
And that was something he couldn’t tolerate.
For a moment, I almost let it pull me under again.
Almost.
But instead, I channeled it.
I turned everything I learned into something useful.
I started speaking—not to explain, not to convince—but to share what it actually takes to overcome someone who is intent on tearing you down.
People don’t get it.
They say move on.
Forget it.
Get over it.
Just let it go.
They don’t understand how much you had to change just to survive.
How much you adapted.
How many times you stood back up after being knocked down.
How often you were told you were crazy—
only to discover you were never wrong.
Choosing myself wasn’t rebellion.
It was recognition.
Recognition of truth.
Of strength.
Of the moment I stopped internalizing lies and started trusting myself again.
That’s when alignment began.
And I never looked back.
-- Untethered Warrior
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