Dating after Divorce, A Disaster

-

 

Dating After Divorce: An Untethered Truth
People are disposable now.
And dating feels like proof of it.
Everyone is replaceable.
Everyone is optional.
Everyone is one inconvenience away from being discarded.
Men don’t want partners — they want playmates with no personalities.
Easy. Agreeable. Fun.
Low effort. No emotional weight.
And women?
Women want what they never had in their marriages.
Safety. Presence. Desire.
To finally be chosen without having to disappear.
The second time around isn’t about building anything real.
It’s about show.
Photos. Appearances. Being seen together.
Until feelings show up — and suddenly that’s “too much.”
Nobody wants to get close.
Nobody wants to do the work.
Because closeness requires honesty,
and honesty requires facing yourself.
So people lie.
They perform.
They mirror who they think you want —
and disappear the moment depth is required.
Everything is free and easy now.
Access without intention.
Connection without responsibility.
Emotion with an exit plan.
There’s no substance because substance asks something of you.
Presence. Accountability. Courage.
Most people don’t want to be asked.
Real emotional connection threatens people who live in avoidance.
So at the first hint of discomfort — truth, conflict, vulnerability —
they untie it and walk.
If you still want an actual partnership,
you will feel out of place in today’s dating culture.
That doesn’t mean you’re difficult.
It doesn’t mean you hate men.
And it doesn’t mean you’ve given up.
I don’t hate men.
I wish I could find someone.
I still believe in connection that’s steady and real.
I still believe there are men who want depth — not distraction.
But I refuse to contort myself to be chosen.
I refuse to trade clarity for companionship.
I refuse to confuse attention with intimacy.
If that means I end up alone,
even though I want partnership,
then I will live with that.
I am open — not desperate.
Hopeful — not naïve.
Willing — but no longer available to be undone.
If love finds me,
it will meet me standing.
Not shrinking.
Not performing.
Not proving.
And if it doesn’t,
I will still have my life, my voice, my peace.
That isn’t bitterness.
That’s self-respect.
— Untethered Warrior

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Change Your Perspective and Everything Changes

-
Image
  For years, I grappled with the past. A twenty-year relationship built largely on smoke, mirrors, and turmoil. There are moments I would give anything to go back and undo it. To release myself before it ever began. To spare myself the mistake of staying so long with someone I knew, deep down, would never become the person he promised to be. But then I think about what did come from that defining decision. I was always strong — but that strength was built on a different mentality. One shaped by entitlement, expectation, and the belief that promises would eventually be kept. The failure of that relationship — and the pain it inflicted — forced me to reconcile with something deeper. It showed me that I was stronger than I ever knew. I had to get up and keep going when all I wanted to do was lie down. When giving up felt easier. When disappearing felt tempting. But I couldn’t. So I rose. I rose above the heartache and the pain and became someone I never could have predicted was inside...
Read more

What She Really Wants

-
💛 What She Really Wants When she meets men, she often leads with the version of herself wrapped in armor — the strong exterior, the self-contained energy, the woman who doesn’t need anything from anyone. The one who seems detached, unbothered, and impossible to hurt. And unsurprisingly, she attracts men who match that energy: emotionally unavailable, distant, and guarded.
Read more

Dating Post Divorce in the Decade of Choosing Single

-
Dating Post Divorce in the Decade of Choosing Single One of the biggest surprises of divorce is realizing just how much the whole interface of dating has changed—and how much harder it is now. First of all, the dating apps. They make every person completely and utterly disposable. Maybe even the spouses of the people trolling them. My best friend and I have dissected and re-dissected this dating phenomenon for years. These apps created an entire infrastructure for avoiding the real work. No effort. No accountability. No actual investment required. The people I’ve met? Let’s just say honesty isn’t trending. Old photos. Ages that magically pause. Careers that shift depending on the day. And a few… extra proclivities sprinkled in. Most people aren’t trying to build anything meaningful. And from a woman’s perspective, here’s the pattern: men always put their best foot forward until things turn intimate. Let me tell you something— Men need to wake the fuck up. When intimacy enters the ...
Read more